The world out there

It's a scary thought. I don't know how I feel about it, or should it even matter?

The truth is I am scared. It adds on to my loneliness, desperation some would say. I would not deny them, my heart heart cries out for any sign of approval. I can't even begin to take the first step to approach some one, it really hurts.

I thought I could go on alone, but it's been so long. How would I keep on believing if nothing has been swinging my way? I hate how happy every one is, I hate the bitter feeling that comes up to me whenever I see a couple holding hands. I ask myself over and over and over and over again, why? Why not me? Why can't I? Where is love for me in this world?

I know I am probably thinking too much. I really wish I have the courage to let some one in my heart. I really wish I can break down my wall for the world out there.

I am trying so hard Kim, you would be proud of me right?